


The Ins and Outs

by PinkCanary



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Established Relationship, Multi, Polyamory, skywalker sex ed is the worst sex ed, swpolyamoryweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 12:22:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6610546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkCanary/pseuds/PinkCanary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Poe knew that the Head Boy position came with the job of teaching sex ed to the younger students, he might have rethought the entire thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ins and Outs

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for Star Wars Polyamory Week, for Day Three - Hogwarts AU.

It’s not that Poe _didn’t_ expect to be suddenly surrounded by a contingent of second and third year students while studying in the library one afternoon but, well, knowing how his first few months as Head Boy had gone, maybe he _should_ have.

“We need your help,” says a little ginger boy, who seems to be more or less leading the pack.

“Seriously,” adds another student. A girl this time.

“They have never been more in need of your help than at this very moment,” throws out a voice near the back and _hey_ , he knows that one.

He shakes his head, in what can only be a mixture of amusement and exasperation. _Of course he would be involved._ Still, Poe is willing to bite. “Finn?” he calls out. “What’s going on?” 

Instantly, the sea of heads parts and Poe can see that it’s not only his boyfriend at the tail end of the crowd, but Rey as well. However, it is one of the third years who speaks up.

“Professor Organa and Professor Skywalker tried to give us _the talk_ today,” she says despondently, shaking her head. “You can only imagine how that went.”

Poe shudders. He remembers _very well_ , in fact, just how well that went when he received it. Mostly, Professor Skywalker tried to non-judgmentally (and in a kind and straightforward manner) deliver the facts of life to them, while Professor Organa smirked and provided commentary in the background. It continued on like that for almost an entire painful hour before Skywalker finally rolled his eyes, made an off-color joke about Organa and Professor Solo, the flying instructor, and exited the room, leaving Professor Organa to clean up the mess. 

It was definitely educational, but perhaps not in the ways intended.

“How bad?” he asks, surveying the faces of the crowd of students.

“It was bad,” answers one. “Professor Organa finally told us to direct any questions to you or Jessika, and she seems to have disappeared…”

Poe sighs, looks out over the students, and quietly shelves his dignity. Once again.

“What do you guys want to know?”

At first, it isn’t too bad. It seems that Skywalker at least managed to get through the basics this time -- puberty, where babies come from, etc. The kids seem to be mostly interested in the interpersonal aspects of the entire thing. Dating, how you know if someone else likes you, kissing, how to know if it’s appropriate to go farther than that… That sort of thing. He can handle that. In fact, he’s kind of been handling that for years, at this point.

And then Finn speaks up.

“We’ve been mostly talking about stuff between boys and girls. But what if you’re interested in someone of the same gender?” Finn asks, with a particularly pointed look at Poe.

And yeah, that is a great question. Poe has never made a secret (or even a big deal, really) of his own sexuality, basically flirting with anything with two legs and a head. There’s no way that these poor kids are getting an entirely heteronormative sexual education on his watch. 

And so he launches into the topic -- attraction, the Kinsey scale, “it’s okay if you have no idea!”, and even telling the story of his own coming out (where he was met with a solid _no shit_ look from his dad and basically everyone he has ever met). He finishes it off with a great big, “if you need to talk to someone, you can come talk to me!” finale and, honestly, he feels pretty good about the whole thing.

Until another question immediately comes up. “How do two guys have sex?” And then almost immediately after that, “What about two girls?”

The kids are eleven and twelve years old, so he tries to stick to the most basic of details, but he knows that he’s flushing a deep scarlet by the time he’s done his explanations. 

Which is why he’s not at all ready for, “My older brother told me that sometimes guys have sex with other guys, like…. in their butts.” The kid is all wide-eyed and innocent, genuine curiosity, and so it’s all Poe can do to keep the serious look on his face as he stammers out something of an answer.

“Um… yeah. Sometimes guys like that.”

He’s blushing, and it's definitely time to change the subject, which is why _of course_ that is the moment that Finn decides to make his presence known once again.

“Why do guys like it? What does it feel like?”

And _fucking seriously_? Of course Finn knows the answer to that question. Of course Finn had his dick inside Poe not eighteen hours ago; on his knees and practically _begging_ while Finn fucked him from behind, and Rey (who is currently Poe’s favorite partner right now -- beautiful, brilliant, _silent-at-this-particular-moment_ Rey) wrapped her hand around his cock, and squeezed, her mouth against his ear as she whispered just how gorgeous the two of them were together and how much she wanted to watch him come. And just the thought of _that_ sends a bolt of heat through Poe’s spine, which immediately makes him want to melt into the floor in mortification.

He looks out, over the heads of the kids, who are still held at rapt attention. And Finn is meeting his gaze steadily, eyes innocent and curious as the kids themselves…. before he suddenly _winks_.

The fucking worst boyfriend of all time, really. 

But, there is nothing else to do but launch into a discussion of the prostate with a bunch of pre-teens. And seriously hope that he just drops dead before he finishes. 

He makes it through, notes that a few of the kids are nodding in interest with his words, and hopes that _maybe_ he contributed to positive sexual experiences for some of them, in addition to ruining his own life. 

Which is, of course, when Rey goes for the kill.

“What about girls?”

 _What about girls?_ He frowns. “I’m sure some girls like having that done to them, as well. They don’t have a prostate, but I’m sure it still feels good for some people, anyway.”

Rey’s eyes are blazing hot as she meets his, not even attempting to go for innocence like Finn had. “No, I mean, can girls have sex with guys that way? There must be…. equipment for that. Or maybe magic?”

And he’s dead. Or dying at the very least. Or maybe he just hopes that he’s dying? Whatever. It’s all the same at this point. Rey is still looking straight at him, and she raises one eyebrow in a gesture that shouldn’t be nearly as attractive as it actually is. 

But _fuck_.

It’s all he can do to pack up his stuff, stammering a response about having to get to class but he’s sure that Jessika would love to answer that question (and she’s going to murder him later, but it doesn’t even matter because he’s probably already dead), before stumbling out of the library and into the fresh air that the corridor brings. 

He leans against the wall, closes his eyes, and is unsurprised when there is a bump against his shoulder a few seconds later. And then another on the other side. “I hate you both,” he mutters, without opening his eyes.

“So, is that a yes, then?” Rey asks, and he can hear the amusement in her voice. “Or was that a no? It was kind of hard to tell.”

“You’re both terrible.” He groans. Because they are completely terrible. 

“That’s still not a no,” Finn points out, smugly.

And yeah, it’s definitely not a no.


End file.
